Chapter Text
“Ughh… I just want sleep, for one night…” Sophie muttered to herself once more after tossing and turning for about three hours. No matter what she did, what happened during the day, or what was happening the next day, nothing--except sedatives--seemed to help her be able to sleep. But she’d made her policy on sedatives very clear. She’d tried reaching out to Silveny, but she must not have heard her and Sophie was way too tired to try again. So, left alone with her thoughts and dreams—or nightmares, rather—once more, she naturally didn’t sleep. A few minutes later her imparter buzzed from a table near her bed and her worries piqued, wondering who in the world would be hailing her at… 1 AM?
“Hello?” she said, half groaning. Even through her hazy vision and the dim lighting on the other end she could recognize the familiar tall figure. “Keefe?”
“Hey, Foster! I figured you wouldn’t be able to sleep either. In fact, I don’t think you’ve ever gotten a solid night of sleep in the time I’ve known you,” he gently teased with his trademark smirk. She laughed with him, not even caring about how true the words were.
“Yeah, fair enough.” In the moment of silence that followed, she noticed his golden hair wasn’t as artfully mussed as usual, and instead looked more like he’d been tossing and turning for just as long as she had—maybe longer. His eyes didn’t hold the same sparkle they usually did either, and they looked the tiniest bit tearstained and puffy, although it was hard to tell in the dim lighting of the late hour.
“Well, I can’t sleep, you can’t sleep, wanna have a party?” It was far too late at night for her to be able to tell if he was joking, but she really didn’t care. All her caution and dignity went out the window when she agreed. “Wow, didn’t think it’d be that easy. I’ll be there in a couple minutes then!” He smiled and clicked off, not giving her proper time to consider what she’d just agreed to or change her mind. Not that she would’ve if he had, though.
When she stood up to go smuggle food and such in from the kitchen, she realized she was hardly in proper clothing for inviting someone over. An old tank top and pair of cotton shorts she had brought from her old home were among the few things she still had from that life, and she was feeling particularly reminiscent tonight. She walked over to the closet, ignoring Vertina’s constant pounding about her awful choice of clothes, the deepening bags under her eyes, her frayed hair, and just about a thousand other things no one except a spectral mirror would notice. She jumped out of the frame, reminding herself to go around the snotty girl when she went back. After surveying her options with hardly any care, she decided on a purple pair of proper pajamas that looked the most comfortable. After changing, she hurried to the door, remembering Sandor was positioned there at the last second before slamming into him again.
“Before you say anything, yes I heard your conversation with Mr. Sencen, and no I do not approve.”
“But Sandor-” he raised his hand to silence her.
“I do not approve,” he continued, “but I will allow it on one condition: you don’t do anything I, or your parents, would not approve of. No sneaking off. Nothing dangerous. You are to stay within the house.”
“Of course we will. We’ll probably stay in my room most of the time anyway. He’s gonna be here any second, so may I please go meet him?” He stayed still for a moment before stepping to the side to let her pass. She moved down the stairs as quickly and silently as possible.
Keefe must have had to change as well, because she had just enough time to get the food and things she set out for back to her room and then meet him at the leapmaster when he and his bodyguard glittered into the room.
“Hey, Blondie,” she greeted. She hadn’t even been there two minutes and already she had a sly smile stretched across her lips.
“Hi, Ro,” Sophie replied, hoping she didn’t look as uncomfortable as she felt. Either Ro noticed it or had other plans because she walked off saying she was gonna go talk to Gigantor. Once Ro left, it was Sophie and Keefe left alone. She motioned for him to follow her and led him into her room. She tried her best to fight back the nagging memories and nostalgia that all the human snacks she collected brought back, but when he broke the silence with a grin, “Hey Foster,” he obviously knew something was wrong. He walked closer to her and gave her a hug. It was different this time, though. He wrapped his arms around her shaking body in the same way her human parents used to when she had a particularly challenging day. That pushed her over the edge. Keefe clutched his chest, his breath hitching, stunned for a moment.
“W- woah, are you okay, Foster? I’ve never felt a mood drop that fast and that hard before.” He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. “Foster?” she tried to shuffle away, hardly breathing. Choking sobs bubbled up in her throat. Keefe held himself together by a thread, reminding himself again, again, and again the emotions weren’t his and that he had to be strong for Sophie. He slowly moved over to where she was, gently cradling her in his arms. She struggled at first, not wanting to drag him into her pain, but he saw—felt— how much she just wanted to be held, and reminded her that a few feet wouldn’t make a difference to him.
Once she finally settled into his arms, he slowly brought her to her bed. He settled them into a comfortable position with her head resting in the crook of his neck, his cheek resting in her hair. His back was supported by the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. He gently rocked them back and forth, rubbing small circles into her back. Occasionally he’d whisper things like “It’s okay, Sophie,” “You’re safe,” “I’m here,” or “It’s okay, just cry,” but mostly they sat in silence. Harsh sobs rattled her body, but Keefe’s strong arms held her steady. He did his best to fight through the flurry of emotions being launched at him from all directions to keep his own breathing and heart rate steady, which she eventually fell into rhythm with.
Neither knew how long they sat there, holding onto each other, but they didn’t care. Once she thought she was stable enough she tried pulling away, but missed the comforting warmth and strength his hold gave her so, so much. Too much. Before she realized what was happening, she was back leaning against him, her head on his chest and his arm around her. They were laying down on her bed now, the moonlight pouring through the windows. Keefe was laying more or less on his back, supporting himself with his right elbow and some pillows behind his head. Sophie’s upper half was laying on his torso, the rest of her laying right up next to him. She relaxed more and more into his warmth, drawing on the comfort, strength, peace, and safety she felt with him. Her eyelids felt heavy and she began to peacefully doze off for the first time in… she couldn’t remember how long.
“You wanna talk about what just happened?” he asked softly. Her mood shifted once again and Keefe flinched, slight but still noticeable. She started moving away again. Her voice was hoarse and barely audible when she tried to speak.
“I’m so sorry Keefe, I- I shouldn’t have let you let me drag you down-” her voice broke and he continued, gently tightening his hold on her.
“Sophie, how many times have I told you? You’re never dragging me down. Ever. I’m only feeling a portion of what you are, and even from that I can tell how much you need—want—someone to lean on. For support. Help. Comfort. If I can be that…” his voice caught in his throat for a moment. Clearing away the thickness, he continued with, “I’m more than glad to.” He smiled. Not his usual smirk. A true, sincere, warm, kind… loving smile. It melted away some of the coldness filling her heart.
“I just…” she sighed. “Well- don’t laugh, okay?” He nodded, promising he would never. “I couldn’t sleep, as you well know, so I wandered over to my closet to see what was in there, maybe from… my old home in San Diego. I found the couple of outfits I brought, the photo album, and a few other things I grabbed when Fitz came for me. I was looking through the photo album, and even changed into one of the outfits i had, and I just… I missed them, I guess, more than I usually do.” She didn’t specify who, but she didn’t need to. “And when you clicked off the Imparter, I went down to the kitchen to grab the human snacks I have, which didn’t help, and then…” she trailed off. Keefe waited patiently until she was ready to continue. “When you hugged me, it felt just like they did.” She said the last part hardly above a breath. “Whenever I had a really hard day, they could tell as soon as I walked in the door. My- My mom would wrap her arms around me, just like you did.” Her voice broke again and Keefe wrapped her up once more without hesitation.
“Hey, it’s okay. Don’t feel embarrassed or guilty. We’ve been over this a million times, and we’ll go over it a million more until you believe it.” He carefully shifted her to look at him. “You’re allowed to miss your family. They’re the people who raised you. They were your whole life. No one is going to feel bad about that.” She smiled sadly as he thumbed away the tears below her eyes. She sniffled and laid back on his chest. He sighed softly, wrapping his arm back around her. He felt her mood settle into calm and content, his own falling into suit.
Sophie broke the peaceful silence, asking if Keefe still wanted to try her weird human food. “YES. As long as you’re up for it, let’s do it!” She smiled in response, sitting up. A sudden head rush knocked her back for a second, but she quickly straightened up and walked over to her haul of goodness. She picked up the pack she knew he’d be most excited to see. “Elf cookies!!” He exclaimed, practically jumping over to where she was. She asked him to grab the iPod sitting on the end of the bed and traded him for it. She shuffled a random playlist from her spotify, starting strong with ‘LA Devotee’ by Panic! At the Disco.
“I loved this song—this artist, actually—when I was living in the Forbidden Cities.” More memories flooded her mind, but she refused to give into the pain they so badly wanted to dredge up, and instead focused on the happiness in them, turning bittersweet rather than sad. Keefe smiled at her and handed her a cookie. They munched their way through the pile of yumminess, trying some of her favorite candies, chips, crackers, and whatever else was there, although Keefe made sure whatever he ate was vegan, still super weirded out by the idea of eating animal products. They even traded stories from their childhoods. Or rather, Sophie would ramble about her favorite memories and when her mood started shifting down, Keefe would give her hand a reassuring squeeze and give one of his own. They did funky dances, played verbal, mental, and even human games, told jokes, and did just about anything they wanted to.
A couple of hours later, they were still dancing when ‘Grow As We Go’ by Ben Platt, the last song in the playlist, came on.
“You say there’s so much you don’t know”
Sophie liked listening to this song back in her old life, but she didn’t have any close relationships other than her family, so she couldn’t really relate to it past it being a banger.
“Who said it’s true, that the growing only happens on your own?”
They slowed down their chaotic wiggle-y dances and fell into a nice, relaxed slow dance rhythm, their bodies moving perfectly in sync.
“They don’t know me and you”
As the song progressed, Sophie laid her head on Keefe’s shoulder, her left hand intertwined with his right.
“I don’t think you have to leave if to change is what you need”
Keefe’s head laid softly on hers, his free arm wrapped around her lower back holding her close.
“You can change right next to me”
He felt her mood shift once again, small tears rolling down her cheeks and dampening his shirt.
“When you’re high I’ll take the lows, you can ebb and I can flow”
It took him a moment to realize they weren’t painful, sad, or hurt tears—rather happy tears, peaceful tears, grateful tears.
“And we’ll take it slow. And grow as we go, ooh”
Grateful she had such an incredible and fluid relationship with someone.
“You won’t be the only one”
With him.
“I am unfinished, I’ve got so much left to learn”
He felt his own tears break free and make their way down his cheek.
“I don’t know how this river runs”
Even though he couldn’t understand the lyrics to any of her music, except for the few lines Sophie would translate, he could feel how much the songs being played meant to Sophie.
“But I’d like the company through every twist and turn”
But, this one was different.
“Who said it’s true, that the growing only happens on your own?”
More like she felt it was made for her and someone else. Her and…
“They don’t know me and you”
Him.
“You don’t ever have to leave if to change is what you need”
She had started translating the lyrics under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear. Now he understood.
“You can change right next to me”
He continued swaying them to the music, a slow realization creeping up on him.
“When you’re high I’ll take the lows, you can ebb and I can flow”
The feeling finally started to take proper shape, or rather, feelings.
“And we’ll take it slow. And grow as we go, ooh”
‘There’s no where else I’d rather be, but right here with you in my arms,’ he thought.
“I don’t know who we’ll become”
“Me too,” she said softly, barely above the voice that had been translating.
“I can’t promise it’s not written in the stars
He hummed and smiled absentmindedly before realizing what happened. “What?”
“But I believe that when it's done"
She laughed quietly. “You said that out loud,” she said, not moving her head from its placement.
“We're gonna see that it was better
“Oh,” was his only response.
“That we grew up together”
His cheeks flamed, before he decided he wasn’t embarrassed about slipping up this time.
“Tell me you don't wanna leave, 'cause if change is what you need”
They were alone, after all.
“You can change right next to me
“When you're high I'll take the lows
“You can ebb and I can flow
“And we'll take it slow
“And grow as we go, oh”
The last line repeated a few times before the song ended, the music stopping. They continued exactly the way they were for a few more minutes, subconsciously getting closer and closer—if it was even possible. Neither seemed to realize until their chests were flat against each other.
Maybe it was the tiredness.
Maybe it was how long they’d been there.
Whatever it was, Sophie wasn’t sure.
But she didn’t feel any butterflies exploding all throughout her body. This just felt right. She leaned her head back slightly, looking up at Keefe. He looked back at her, his crystal, ice blue eyes flickering between her own brown eyes, shimmering gold in the starlight, and her parted lips.
‘God, his eyes are gorgeous,’ she thought.
“Thanks,” he whispered. “You said that out loud this time,” he added with a breathy laugh when he saw confusion take over her face.
“Ah.” She glanced down to his full, pink lips, wondering if he felt the same way she did. He must have, because as he swept a bit of her hair behind her ear, he drew his hand down her face, dragging sparks the whole way, and placed it under her chin. Lifting it ever so slightly, he stared at her with a new intensity, new fire, in his striking eyes.
“May I…” he began in a low voice, trailing off. She nodded her head slowly, and he gently closed the space between them.
It was a slow kiss, both already exhausted from all the activity. However, make no mistake, that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. They melted into each other, time pausing around them. Everything pausing around them. The world seemed to stop, the only things left, themselves. They clung to each other just as desperately. Sophie tangled one of her hands roughly in Keefe’s hair, his own hand softly cupping her cheek, their bodies moving—once again—perfectly in sync. As if they were made for each other. Maybe they were, because nothing that wasn’t meant to happen could ever be so incredible.
And if this was the wrong thing?
If they weren’t meant for each other?
Well, they couldn’t care less.
They pulled away for air shortly after, Sophie’s shock at what had just happened knocking her back a step. Keefe took a tentative step toward her. Both their faces were flushed the same crimson red. She intertwined their hands once again before pulling him against her with an arm around his neck. Their lips moved smoothly against each other, their faces angled perfectly. They drew energy from each other, the sparks between them, the power rushing through their veins, to keep going. Soon Sophie was almost pinned against the wall, Keefe’s right arm supporting himself against it and his other snaked around the small of her back, so carefully, so softly, so gently, it was as if he thought he might break her. She had one hand pressed against his chest, her free hand entangling in his hair. He sighed happily against her and she thought every part of her would explode.
But not from butterflies this time.
From fireworks.
They pulled apart once more. Sophie leaned her head back against the wall, gasping for breaths through a wide smile she didn’t know she was wearing, her chest heaving. Keefe was just as worn out, although the intensity in his eyes hadn’t dulled a bit. The corners of his mouth pulled up into the most beautiful, most genuine, most blissful smile she’d ever seen grace his shining face. He reached up with one hand to feel his swollen lips, carefully letting her land against the wall.
“So,” he breathed. Tiny drops of sweat trickled down his temples. Sophie reached up to tuck back a curl hanging low in his eyes, trailing her hand down his cheek, his jaw, all the way down his neck, creating more and more sparks everywhere she felt. He retrieved his hand from his lips to hold it.
“So,” she echoed. She leaned into Keefe’s soft touch, the circles he rubbed on her hand, his arm so near her shoulder, and their foreheads pressed against one another as she took in the rest of him. She never truly would get over just how broad his shoulders were, no matter what he wore. Nothing was unflattering on him. She lifted her free hand and traced it down his muscled form, from his chiseled jaw, to his collarbones showing under his slightly undone tunic, his broad chest, and strong arms. His breath was hot on her cheeks and she could smell the same chocolate and cookies she’d tasted just minutes ago.
The next few minutes were a blur, between the exhaustion and surrealness of the night, but the next thing they knew, Sophie was laying on top of Keefe with her head resting under his chin. He was stroking one hand through her hair, down her back, and resting it on her waist. The other was laid behind his head to support it. He clapped his hands to close the windows, leaving them both dozing off in the pitch black. Keefe kept himself awake just enough to make sure Sophie was really okay, and just as he was about to give in to the call of slumber, he heard a voice, just above a breath. In fact, he wouldn’t have heard it if not for it’s source being right next to his ear.
“Please don’t leave me, Keefe.” He could tell from her mood, even through all the sleepiness, she wasn’t just referring to him going home. He gently placed his other arm around her, matching his voice to the same quiet, sincere tone, “I will never leave you, Sophie.”
